He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
