You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Boobs speak an international language.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
