you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
When did angry sex become our thing?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
