i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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