so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
