But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
