she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
