Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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