i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
