I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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