i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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