Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize