hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
