so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
