My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Randomize
