Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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