i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
