you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
