Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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