Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
