I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize