dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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