Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Its about making memories worth repressing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize