Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
