Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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