Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
