I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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