All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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