Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
