i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
