I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
