i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Terrible idea I love it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
