She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
