shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
