i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How naked do you want me to be?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
