you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize