Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
