is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
