Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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