i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize