she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
