Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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