You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
