you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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