Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My vagina is very pro this idea
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
