suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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