You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
