I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
