maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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