The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
