Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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