The maid of honor just puked.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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