Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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