Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
When are your genitals available?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
