I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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