I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
