The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
